A few weeks ago, an innocent young book pusher asked if anyone wanted to write a blog post for July. I told her I would, but only if she’d let me write about the bunny invasion. Foolishly, she agreed.
So today I’m here to warn you about a terrible threat creeping across our great nation…
Yes, you read that correctly. Hell. Bunnies. This isn’t a joke, people. It’s a serious problem facing tens of people across the world, which is why I’m here to sound the alarm, and officially put out my call for the counter-rebellion.
You might think bunnies are cute, unless you watch Monty Python, in which case you are way ahead of me. The vicious danger of bunnies is well documented. A few years ago, I had my first brush with this phenomenon when I won a twitter contest held by @thinkgeek and got a box of prizes that included these terrifying little bunnies:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/moms/8148/
(Moms? Really, Think Geek? Is this so they can scare their kids?)
You’d think I would have accepted the warning. I’m not sure what the warning was, but it had big pointy teeth and an evil sort of glint in its eyes, so I can’t say it wasn’t clear. But I didn’t, because I was careless.
Then, a few weeks ago, after a lovely dinner, my co-writer’s husband opened my front door and caught the second stage of the bunny invasion.
THE BUNNIES HAD SURROUNDED OUR HOUSE!
Look at them! That is clearly a perimeter, and they are waiting for the signal to strike. Or something. I wasn’t even sure what until I rushed to my computer and used CSI’s patented zoom/enhance/crime-detect software to uncover the truth.
(KM? KM? It is clear to me that Keith Melton has sent bunny commandos to my house.)
So, we must be vigilant! The bunnies could strike at any time. They have allies everywhere. They fool us with their big eyes and their cute floppy ears, but when you turn your back, they’re always there, gathering…
Do you really want to be the next victim of the Hell Bunny Apocalypse?
Think about it, my friends. And then join me on twitter at @moirarogersbree as we rage against the hell bunnies and their evil minions. (Prime suspects: @KeithMelton99 and @FictionVxn)
Only you can stop the bunnies.
To get more updates on the Hell Bunnies, make sure you come join the insanity on Twitter! Thanks Bree for the Public Service Announcement!!
Note to self: No more letting Bree pick her topic of choice when guest posting. =D
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Omg I about die laughing at the CSI crime-detecting software pic LMAO. It’s clear that Keith Melton is behind all this!
Buahahahaha – I think we should let Bree take over again *hides* and those bunnies are evil especially the plot ones. They can lead you on a merry chase!
@Caroline- Isn’t the gun bunny the best?!? I just about died when Bree sent me this!!
@Has- Can you imagine what she would come up with next time??? O_O
OMG-I’m dying here. Now you have me eyeing my bunny wondering what is going through her mind? Is she stocking piling weapons to take over the house? *biting nails*
Yes, Bree, that IS my squad of Delta Force Hell Bunnies. Curse your CSI technology-loving ways. I told them to get tattoos of mermaids, but no, they *had* to get my initials.
Look closely at that picture, though. You don’t see the Ninja Bunnies of Stealth Assassination, do you? No, because they’re ninja from ear to fluffy tail. Bunny Death from the Shadows! Fear it! Muahahahahahahahahaha!
Actually, could you open your front door and yell at the Hell Bunnies to hurry up and complete the mission? Because they cost a lot of money and get paid by the hour (plus expenses), exactly like lawyers only more Evil.
…if you can believe that.
This December I’ll be dispatching my abominable snow bunnies to clean up any lingering patches or resistance. It’ll be like Watership Down with machine guns…
Abominable snow bunnies. To ALABAMA?
Keith, is this your first day on the evil mastermind job or something?
Yes! It’s totally Keith and Fiction Vixen behind the bunny invasion! Get em!
*hides bunny food*
YAY!! *cover your ears squeeing and loud laughing ensues* Finally I got to see Bree’s Bunny post which I’ve been impatiently awating these past couple of weeks and it was fantastic! Love the phtoshop picture and thank you Keith for stopping by and telling us more about the Evil Bunny Plan, I seriously start to shake (of laughter)
LOL! Thank you!!
Keith – Abominable snow bunnies… really??
Stella – When Bree first sent me this a few days ago I almost died!! Too funny!!
What? Why is everyone laughing? …or are you simply laughing with ABJECT TERROR???!
Abominable snow bunnies are elite rabbit troops. They will descend upon the snowy plains of Alabama like a plague of white, furry locusts. No igloo will be safe. Trust me.
And FictionVxn is my silent partner in crime. I do all the hard work, she takes all the credit. It’s almost as if she’s my real-life boss or something… o_O
Also, Alisha, we need more bunny food. If you could send some along on a commerical air flight it should arrive here ASAP with absolutely no lost baggage, delays, or problems with security. Thanks!
“Also, Alisha, we need more bunny food. If you could send some along on a commerical air flight it should arrive here ASAP with absolutely no lost baggage, delays, or problems with security. Thanks!”
…now you’re just mocking me. Hurrumph.
Alisha, don’t lie to us, we’re all friends here. Is the real reason your bag “fell off the plane” because you are bringing European Hell Bunnies to join in Keith’s army? *GASP*
Minn, no single bunny could make a bag fall off a plane.
An entire horde of British bunnies scenting tea, however,….
This post made me LOL, I just finished reading Sharon Ashwood’s Unchained which features…wait for it….a Hell Bunny!!!! Coincidence-I think not
Yeah what Bree doesn’t know, is those are actually smokin’ hot were bunnies who really serve me and my evil plan to bring bring the world to it’s knees one romance author at a time. We’ve conned Keith Melton into financing the evil scheme by promising to crown him super were bunny supreme when it’s all over but were really just going to let the abominable snow bunnies have at him.
It’s even worse than you think…They organize via Twitter.
https://twitter.com/#!/demonbunneh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke3DUitoz8w How could you leave this out?!
@Sophia aka Fiction Vixen
…You’re like one of those evil villains who explains the *entire* plan at the end of the movie when the hero is captured, including where the self-destruct button is located and all your special weaknesses and severe spider phobias.
Didn’t you read the Supreme Evil Overlord Handbook? Silence is your friend.
Oh, and my scheme to finance your plots using funds from Enron failed. Thought I should let you know so you could move to Plan B: lemonade stands.
I kicked over your lemonade stands, Keith.
It made a kid cry, but it had to be done.
VIVA LA REVOLUTION!
BTW Keith your Hell Bunnies have conspired with the local deer population here in Central Texas. Caught one having a secret convo in my front yard the other day, maybe you and Sophia better get some better funding if your troops are way over here in my “neck of the woods”!
Bree I have footage of the deer conspiring but cannot send it out for fear that the bunnies will retaliate.
@Jackie B
I wondered why the Hell Bunnies made a detour in Texas. They must’ve wanted to eat at a Waffle House.
Honestly, can’t blame ‘em.