The H&W Gang Talk About Their Fans

By Jess Haines

Hello there! Jess Haines here. I’m the author of the urban fantasy H&W Investigations series HUNTED BY THE OTHERS,  TAKEN BY THE OTHERS, and the upcoming DECEIVED BY THE OTHERS. I’d like to take a moment to introduce you to some of the cast—Shiarra Waynest, the lead character, Sara, her business partner, Chaz, her on-and-off werewolf boyfriend, Arnold, a mage who lends her a hand, and Alec Royce, a vampire Shiarra meets in the course of her adventures.

Shiarra and her friends are going to tell you a little bit about how they deal with their fans. Over to you, Shia!

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Shiarra: I have fans?

Arnold: Sure. Don’t you ever check the internet? Some people like you.

Sara: We’re hardly ever on the internet, except when we’re doing skip traces or something.

Chaz: Skip what?

Shiarra: I’ve explained this before. You know, finding people? Tracking them down? All part of being a private investigator.

Royce: A meddlesome but occasionally useful task. We must talk business after this, Ms. Waynest. I’m sure I could use such skills.

Shiarra: As much as I’d like the money, hell no.

Sara: Shia! C’mon, rent is due in—

Shiarra: For the love of—

Chaz: If you need the money—

Shiarra: I do not need the money! Not from him.

Arnold: Ladies, how about you discuss all that with the big bad vampire when the interview is over?

Royce: Yes. Some would be quite interested in taking advantage of your obvious financial difficulties.

Shiarra: Oh, whatever. We’re supposed to be talking about fans. I bet that’s something you take advantage of.

Chaz: Why would he take advantage of his fans?

Sara: He runs restaurants and night clubs. I’m sure he uses the lure of having vampire bar tenders and entertainment to get people to spend plenty of money.

Royce: That and to find new blood donors. We must replenish our stock somehow.

Arnold: That sounds so cavalier. What do you do? Walk up to them and say, “My, you look lovely in that leather skirt and raver glow-stick jewelry. Would you like to sign this contract and be beholden to me for blood forever?”

Shiarra: That’s a lot funnier than what I had pictured in my head.

Sara: He does come up with the occasional comedic gem.

Arnold: I know.

Royce: Unfortunately, you’re not far off the mark. The younger vampires don’t take much care in their choices save for outward beauty, so we have a large number of donors who have asked to be released from their contracts or become smitten and demand to be turned, though they are not worthy candidates.

Chaz: The vampires have it easier than we do. Not that many people are interested in becoming werewolves these days. Be happy you have willing candidates.

Royce: Eternal life is an admitted draw, but many of them would not last even a decade as one of us. Though I have made the error in the past, I no longer base my decisions on who to take to my bed—let alone to my flock—on looks alone.

Shiarra: I’m sensing we have deviated from the path of fans into “don’t go there” territory. I suggest we backtrack.

Sara: Ugh. Seconded.

Chaz: Thirded.

Arnold: Is that even a word?

Royce: No.

Shiarra: Okay, so. Fans.

Royce: If I spot someone in one of my clubs carrying a copy of Interview With the Vampire, I leave.

Everyone Else: …

Sara: Was that a joke?

Arnold: It sounded like one.

Chaz: I didn’t think vampires were allowed a sense of humor.

Royce: Yes, because my dark, tormented existence simply wouldn’t allow for it.

Shiarra: Sarcasm. It’s what’s for dinner.

Royce: Are you volunteering something, Ms. Waynest? We do need to have that discussion after this is over…

Shiarra: AUGH!! No! This—this is why I will not work for you! Vampire cooties. Ugh.

Chaz: Vampire… cooties?

Sara: Don’t look at me. She’s your girlfriend.

Arnold: Sounds dirty. Not in the good way.

Royce: I don’t even know what to say to that.

Arnold: Ha! She made the vampire speechless. Win!

Shiarra: Ye-e-e-e-e-a-a-ah. I think we’re done here.

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You can learn more about Shiarra and the rest of her friends in HUNTED BY THE OTHERS.

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Thanks again for having me over to guest post!