The H&W Gang Talk About Their Fans
By Jess Haines
Hello there! Jess Haines here. I’m the author of the urban fantasy H&W Investigations series HUNTED BY THE OTHERS, TAKEN BY THE OTHERS, and the upcoming DECEIVED BY THE OTHERS. I’d like to take a moment to introduce you to some of the cast—Shiarra Waynest, the lead character, Sara, her business partner, Chaz, her on-and-off werewolf boyfriend, Arnold, a mage who lends her a hand, and Alec Royce, a vampire Shiarra meets in the course of her adventures.
Shiarra and her friends are going to tell you a little bit about how they deal with their fans. Over to you, Shia!
Shiarra: I have fans?
Arnold: Sure. Don’t you ever check the internet? Some people like you.
Sara: We’re hardly ever on the internet, except when we’re doing skip traces or something.
Chaz: Skip what?
Shiarra: I’ve explained this before. You know, finding people? Tracking them down? All part of being a private investigator.
Royce: A meddlesome but occasionally useful task. We must talk business after this, Ms. Waynest. I’m sure I could use such skills.
Shiarra: As much as I’d like the money, hell no.
Sara: Shia! C’mon, rent is due in—
Shiarra: For the love of—
Chaz: If you need the money—
Shiarra: I do not need the money! Not from him.
Arnold: Ladies, how about you discuss all that with the big bad vampire when the interview is over?
Royce: Yes. Some would be quite interested in taking advantage of your obvious financial difficulties.
Shiarra: Oh, whatever. We’re supposed to be talking about fans. I bet that’s something you take advantage of.
Chaz: Why would he take advantage of his fans?
Sara: He runs restaurants and night clubs. I’m sure he uses the lure of having vampire bar tenders and entertainment to get people to spend plenty of money.
Royce: That and to find new blood donors. We must replenish our stock somehow.
Arnold: That sounds so cavalier. What do you do? Walk up to them and say, “My, you look lovely in that leather skirt and raver glow-stick jewelry. Would you like to sign this contract and be beholden to me for blood forever?”
Shiarra: That’s a lot funnier than what I had pictured in my head.
Sara: He does come up with the occasional comedic gem.
Arnold: I know.
Royce: Unfortunately, you’re not far off the mark. The younger vampires don’t take much care in their choices save for outward beauty, so we have a large number of donors who have asked to be released from their contracts or become smitten and demand to be turned, though they are not worthy candidates.
Chaz: The vampires have it easier than we do. Not that many people are interested in becoming werewolves these days. Be happy you have willing candidates.
Royce: Eternal life is an admitted draw, but many of them would not last even a decade as one of us. Though I have made the error in the past, I no longer base my decisions on who to take to my bed—let alone to my flock—on looks alone.
Shiarra: I’m sensing we have deviated from the path of fans into “don’t go there” territory. I suggest we backtrack.
Sara: Ugh. Seconded.
Arnold: Is that even a word?
Shiarra: Okay, so. Fans.
Royce: If I spot someone in one of my clubs carrying a copy of Interview With the Vampire, I leave.
Everyone Else: …
Sara: Was that a joke?
Arnold: It sounded like one.
Chaz: I didn’t think vampires were allowed a sense of humor.
Royce: Yes, because my dark, tormented existence simply wouldn’t allow for it.
Shiarra: Sarcasm. It’s what’s for dinner.
Royce: Are you volunteering something, Ms. Waynest? We do need to have that discussion after this is over…
Shiarra: AUGH!! No! This—this is why I will not work for you! Vampire cooties. Ugh.
Chaz: Vampire… cooties?
Sara: Don’t look at me. She’s your girlfriend.
Arnold: Sounds dirty. Not in the good way.
Royce: I don’t even know what to say to that.
Arnold: Ha! She made the vampire speechless. Win!
Shiarra: Ye-e-e-e-e-a-a-ah. I think we’re done here.
You can learn more about Shiarra and the rest of her friends in HUNTED BY THE OTHERS.
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Thanks again for having me over to guest post!