I didn’t know what to write for this post.
I suppose I could have asked the Bookpushers interview me, but then I wouldn’t be able to use the interview card the NEXT time I’m supposed to write a guest post and don’t know what to write. (Secret to success: always think ahead) (write that down) (now).
So I interviewed myself.
Q: Hi Alisha! Your hair sure is looking pretty and shiny today!
A: Why, thank you. I used this homemade rinse—
Q: I don’t really care.
Q: I hear you have a book coming out. Let’s get your silly self-promo over with so we can get to the hard hitting questions.
A: Yes, Hot as Hades is out this week. You can get it anywhere you buy your ebooks. It’s an erotic take on the Hades/Persephone legend.
Q: I see from the cover that your Hades is ripped, tattooed, and wears leather pants.
Q: But the Underworld is probably rather warm. Don’t those chafe?
A: His lair has central air?
Q: Fair enough. Moving on, how do you feel about the bunny threat?
A: I think it’s the result of a few hysterical minds. Bunnies are adorable and fluffy. Clearly they are not the ninja assassins of the world.
Q: They’re…they’re not? Wait. Are you actually being rational about something?
A: Of course. Bunnies aren’t out to get anyone.
Q: Phew. You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that, as I sometimes seriously question your mental…
A: Gnomes are.
Q: For crying out–like, cutesy, happy garden gnomes? The ones who sit in front of our homes and greet the passerby because we’re too busy watching Dancing with the Stars to do it ourselves? Gnomes like this?
A: Cutesy! Happy! Not you too! Resist, man. Resist this brainwashing that convinces otherwise reasonable Americans into spending money on chunks of plaster that have no real purpose other than killing you and looking mildly constipated. I mean, look at this killer assassin in action.
Q: It’s blacked out.
A: They are ninjas, they operate at night.
Q: I can safely say I’ve never seen a gnome ninja assassin.
A: That’s because they’re REALLY GOOD ninjas.
Q: I think we’re done…
A: WAIT. Oh man. I didn’t want to do this. But I guess I’ve got no choice. A few nights ago I went outside with my flashlight and snapped a photo of a rookie gnome assassin fresh from his kill. I’m risking my life by showing this to you. The Federation of Ninja Gnomes will be on my ass. But I do it because I care about you. I care about the world!
Q: …oh dear. A photo, you say?
A: Completely unedited. I don’t even know how to use photoshop!
Q: Obviously. Well, thank you for sharing this, er, important information with us.
A: I assure you, there are no evil gnomes in my new book. A few demons and angry Gods, that’s all.
Q: What a relief.
A: Thanks for having me!
Q: You’re welcome. Don’t forget to pick up bread on your way home today.
Oh Alisha… I don’t know what is in the water that you and Bree have been drinking… but I think you need to send some my way. =) Alisha has offered up an ecopy of Hot as Hades to one lucky winner. Just leave her a question or comment to be entered. Open Internationally, ends on October 17th. Good Luck!