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Close Encounters of the Peen et al Kind

Dear Readers,

I have a confession to make: I am sometimes drawn to the unusual, the strange and the crazy – although not too cray cray (because there is some out there where not even I could get myself to read) – romance books. You know the ones with the extra appendages or the strange plots which can be too out there. This is because I have to click on that brain bleach link. I have to see what the fuck is going on. But then when I do see it, I wish I could block the vision or words of wtfery that crosses boundaries that no one should EVA experience.

I have bought books which featured double wangs with an extra thingie, or with just one and a thingie. There is the tale of the seven Longhorn shifter brothers who fall in love with their mate Scarlett (yes, Longhorn shifters, and yes it was based on Snow White). Then there was a fun Sci-Fi romance which featured a hero with a tail who knew how to use it, and another alien book which had a peekaboo ding dong. I have to admit I enjoyed some of these books. I was amused by others and after reading the books, I was in a state of catatonic stupor because my brain cells stopped functioning.

This makes it fun and crazy and I find myself being amused and entertained by extra appendages growing on a peen, or where no bumps should bem or tails entering territory where no tails have gone before. Although there are some books which really take things out there, and that is not really appealing. But for other books, the WTF factor can be funny, and can actually add zaniness to the story!

So here are some of my picks for books which have The WTF Fun Factor:

This was my first introduction to where I could imagine hearing Spock from Star Trek saying ‘Jim, this series has penises of a fascinating nature’, when I came across Lora Leigh’s Breed series. I remember going Ohhhhheeeeeee, this is definitely not my mother’s romance where the heroes have a bit of an extra thing in their equipment. I also really enjoyed the early books, and they were like crack because the PNR genre was just taking off and this series felt different and fresh.

And one of my favourites is Brianna by Judy Mays which features an alien hero with a tail.  Oh this is a fun scifi romance romp which was sexy and fun and that tail did venture where no man has gone before!

Then we have the books which are really out there with their premises, and I do get drawn to them because it’s like this guilty pleasure where I can’t resist because the premise is so out there, and I get challenged to read them.

 First up we have the Longhorn Shifters series by Lola Newmar. It’s a retelling of Snow White but instead of 7 dwarfs it has 7 Longhorn shifters who get horny on the sight of the colour red. That cover pretty sums up the tone of the book with the sexual awakening of a virginal Snow White — who has amnesia — finding her mates. I read the first book but because of the length and the price of each installment (there are 9!) I stopped at the first book. I also felt that the sex scenes were very pornish, and I hate the bro-cest themes in these books. Seriously the idea of brothers sharing a woman is squicky and I really hate this trope. But even the WTF amusing elements weren’t enough for me to follow and buy the rest of the series.

 

And I’d like to thank MinnChica for challenging me to read ‘When a Pack Dies’ by Gwen Campbell.

That had one of the most WTF elements I have ever read in a erotic PNR. I wasn’t too keen on the fact the heroine was referred as a bitch as an endearment, and the sex scenes in doggy form were too much for me. (Minn: Hey, I was as WTFed out as you were! The book had a ton of ratings and awards through All Romance eBooks. I blame those people who rated it 5 stars… Note to self: Don’t trust ARE recommendations any more….)

Then there are the Satyr books by Elizabeth Amber which are erotic fantasy romance. This series is like two dongs and moar for the price of one. And in one book there was even a 3 peen affair where the heroine is an hermaphrodite. I wasn’t too keen on some elements of the series but I did enjoy the dreamy and erotic tone and the extra dongs did fit that vibe, and yes pun totally intended!

 

 

 

 This is the most recent discovery: Alien Games by Claudia Rose. O.M.G. During a late night browse on Amazon I came across this cover and I was like, ohhhh, a 4 armed blue alien! And then maybe it was sleep deprivation or something. Those arms were beckoning me to one click to the sound of R. Kelly’s ‘Your body is calling’. The main hero and heroine were athletes and they definitely competed the sexual Olympics with this book, but sadly the book didn’t have that X-Factor for Wtfery. And there were definitely alien shenanigans going on but it wasn’t for me and I ended up DNF towards the halfway mark.

These are some of the books I have read which I enjoyed and disliked, or experienced both! I do think the erotic PNR/Sci-Fi romance genre has some gems but there is a few out there which has me scratching my head. Some of these books are popular with readers and I do think the WTF element is a strong part of that. And there’s nothing wrong with liking WTF books, but I do think we need to invest in an industrial sized bottle of brain bleach. ‘Cos when you open a cover of a book with an outlandish premise you really are entering a territory of the unknown which can be scary, titillating and fun. Or we could enter the ‘Oh gawd! Please pass the brain bleach.’

I want to open this thread for any other suggestions for books which have an out there romance or premise because I haz that the WTF gene.

So have you read a book that shocked you with outlandish smex? Did it add to the story and make it fun. Or did it leave you cold, shuddering with what you can’t unread?

By Has

Has is a voracious reader and a geek at heart! She is a fan of most sub-genres of romance and fantasy, but especially loves fantasy and some sci fi. She's currently looking out for historical romances with unusual settings, and fantasy romance, in the vein of Anne Bishop and Elizabeth Vaughan who are on her list of favourite authors. She's also a fan of authors such as Tamora Pierce, Patricia Briggs, Ilona Andrews, Ann Aguirre, Lisa Kleypas and Nalini Singh. She is always on the look out for new authors and loves the feeling of discovering a brand new author and books she loves.

15 replies on “Close Encounters of the Peen et al Kind”

@KB/KT Grant:

But his was just a big’un and there was some wangst about not fully fitting in until he met his love. Although he did some DIY renovations in his heroine 😀

And the 4 armed alien – muahahaha

All right, here goes my most memorable (because Judy Mays and Lora Leigh and Elizabeth Amber were already mentioned.)

The Huntress by Barbara Karmazin. Another flexible tail, if I remember right and an alien who actually LOOKS alien. http://www.amazon.com/The-Huntress-ebook/dp/B00408AXOG/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2

And Rachel Bo’s Wolf-Bound: Beasts in the Labyrinth has werewolf sex. As in in he’s in wolf form, she’s not. http://www.loose-id.com/WolfBound-Beasts-in-the-Labyrinth.aspx

What about Charlaine Harris’s novella, The Britlingens Go To Hell, in the anthology Must Love Hellhounds? One of the characters has 2 peens – it was soooo random, too, given the other novellas in that book. Totally threw me for a loop!

@Nicole:

OMG at the Labrynth one – I must.not.click.on.one.click O_O – I heard of Barbara Karmazin – I think I have one of her SF alien romances but I don’t think I got around to buy it. I do have strange romance TBR pile.

@RebeLovesBooks:

Oh wow – Charlaine Harris had a double dingdong character??? I am quite surprised by that and I got the book but never got round to reading her story LOL

I looked on her webpage to look for the book b/c I thought I’d made the whole thing up in my mind (I mean, Charlaine Harris? No way, right?), but I couldn’t find it, so I checked my kindle and sure enough, there it was! He’s a secondary character, so I don’t remember if there’s actually a sex scene with him but it’s definitely implied. Now I’ll have to reread it, lol.

You are how I find the strange, the bizarre, and the wtfery. I request only that you keep them coming. 😀

lol… loved this post 😉 I really liked Briana despite the cheesy cover. I originally bought it when I heard about Judith Mays being outed (she’s a teacher and the parents were all like “she writes porn!”) and a lot of sites were asking to support her. I didn’t expect to like it but I really did.

I don’t know what it says about me that I’m not surprised by the list as I have looked at most of the books you mentioned on amazon. However, I’m too cheap to buy WTF possible books (and most of them are over $5!). I remember getting one for free and cant for the life of me remember the name. It was about gargoyles and on this planet, the woman are “sold” at a market, usually to a potential husband but the gargoyle buys this girl instead and takes her to his cave where she has to do him and his brother. His dingaling was purple? and huge and all that jazz…. I remember thinking thank god it was free cuz it was WTFery for sure…

You got to check out Xxan War books one and two by Brenna Lyons. I actually read 2 first because when I bought it I didn’t know it was a second book. Yep, alien with 2 peens, half human, half lizardish alien. So of course I had to buy book one! LOL! In book one it’s an alien woman who needs a man with 2 peens who meets a human, 1 peen. They have to figure out how to deal with it. I couldn’t stop reading! LOL!!!

@erinf1:

I have enjoyed some of Judy Mays other books too – I really like her werewolves series which was fun. But Briana and the followups were cute and I hated she got outed like that for writing erotic romance books

@Susan W.:

I will have to check them out although I was recently dared to read a wtfery book and it was pretty bad and not because of the peen element. Hated the implication on race and sexuality and gave up on it but should have listed to my instincts the cover was atrocious.

@blodeuedd:

I think there is a few people who wont admit to reading these books because they do sell otherwise authors wont write them 😀 LOL But if you do ahem pick one out let me know!

okay i got one for ya.. Cheryl Brook.. Cat Star Chronicles..book 1 is called Slave..
if you have read them.. you will know what i mean.. if not.. you have to at least try em!

@Alaina:

Oh I have that series and Mmmm snard – I just realise. I have read alot of unusual books 😀 But the Cheryl Brooks series is another good one and I love sexy sci fi romps.

What about Victorious Star (Interstellar Service & Discipline, #1) by Morgan Hawke? One of the heroes (yeah, it’s a menage), has two peen which opens up a whole myriad of sexual configurations for the three. In space!

I think it is one of the better written erotica/scifi books out there. The sex scenes are hardcore graphic, dark & dirty PLUS they further the plot.
And it has a happy ending.

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